live and let die

 i've been picking up more hours at my old hospital. the one i worked at as a new nurse. the one i learned how to start iv's in any vein including the neck, knuckle, and toe. the one that i saw my first "code" aka dead person we are trying to bring back to life. the one that i saw my first dead baby. she was three months old, the prettiest little hispanic baby you've ever seen. full head of thick dark hair. long black eyelashes. beautiful. dead. we couldn't save her. the mother couldn't bring herself to hold the baby let alone even go into the room. i stayed with the lifeless baby in my arms...i just couldn't leave the tiny body alone in the big dark room. i held her until it was time for her to go the morgue. many experiences i've had at this hospital are imprinted into my mind and spirit never to leave me.

the other day i was at this hospital on my lunch break. (i like to step off the floor and get away for 30 mins to take a deep breath and re-group when i can.) in the cafeteria there is a juke-box. i love juke-boxes. it reminds of the pizza hut in fallon. good memories. anyway, i found and played the song live and let die. great song.

i have quite the commute from work to home. 40 minutes on a good day. my stereo in the car is out. these two factors leave me plenty of time to ponder.

this hospital i've been at lately has an incredibly high level of acuity as i'm sure you've already presumed. it's not uncommon to participate in more than two codes per shift and have three other patients that are close to coding. this particular day that i played the song i had really sick patients.

i guess my point to all this rambling is this: are you prepared to live? are you prepared to die? more, are you prepared to see your loved ones die? are you helping your loved ones live? what extent would you want me to work on saving your life if it came down to it? i have a friend that has told me multiple times to save him at all costs. really, you want to live on a ventilator that breathes for you for the rest of your life?

for the record: if i'm brain dead let me go. if i'm on a vent longer than one month without improvment let me go. if my legs were severed off and i'll never Zumba again save me.

some advice: don't take life for granted. it can be gone in an instant. i see it daily when i'm at work. an instant.

more advice: live and let die. if your grandpa is dying and he is 90 and lived a good life, let him go and don't make a scene. if it's your spouse and he's young and healthy, then you can make a scene while i'm  working on saving his life.

remember: death is a part of this life. live great until it comes then go gracefully.

p.s. excuse the randomness. written after 11 hours of helping heal sicko's at the hospital.
p.s. at some point, hopefully soon, i will post of all our happenings at the end of 2009 and all the fun we've had as of late.

AARGGHH!

the holiday season was brought in with some

scurvy pirates and spooky eyes.

pumpkin carving and trick-or-treating was taken to the max.

halloween might be over but dressing-up never gets old.

a long time ago...

(actually  about a month ago)

in a land far, far away

(really, it was just right here in my humble home in humble queen creek in blazing hot arizona)

queen jillian wanted to celebrate her birthday.

(and since she gets what ever she wants, i thought "okay")

queen jillian invited her royal friends over to recieve the royal treatment.

the princesses got new jewelry
(cheap tiaras and clip-on earrings),
and even got to assesmble their own necklaces out of rare, precious diamonds.

(they made candy necklaces)

the servants then came to pamper the princesses.

(okay, so the servants were the parents and other adults i forced into helping me.)

they all got their fingernails and toenails painted and make-up was applied.

even with all the royal treatment, the princesses were NOT impressesed.

(the girls actually were loving everything, but i had to post this straight-faced picture)

they wanted some action.

in an attempt to liven up the party,

queen jillian brought out the surprise performers...

it was the black-eyed-peas!

(i just played a few of their lastest killer jams from my i-tunes)

after the dance party the princesses needed some refreshment.

so to the royal table they went.

but only princess with tiaras could sit at the royal table.

 the littlest princess-in-training was seated on the floor.

(i actually only have four seats and camille was happy as long as she was close by)

after the food was devoured the party moved outside and queen jill

became the envy of all the land with her new toys.

the royal party was a success!

balloons were launched,

queen jill was attached to her new dora doll,

and they lived happily ever after.

lovin' this

sweet jill is three today.

i am LOVING this age!

she's adventurous.

she's funny.

she's not scared of much.

she'll try to be friends with anything

(snails, butterflies, bees, rocks, people, etc.).

best of all, she's a perfect friend for this un-perfect mother.

i love my jillian.

we didn't vote for the guy,

but jeff couldn't resist:

hopefully he'll be productive.

check back for weekly up-dates.

ch-ch-ch-chi-bama

now that she's almost 18 months

i'll post her 15 month stats:

height: 31.3 inches (76%)

weight: 23.6 lbs (63%)

head: 18.8 in (91%)

when will i see you again?

i miss my peeps a lot.

these are the ones i am most comfortable around.

these are the ones who love me no matter.

these are the ones i wish lived closer.

these are the ones i look up to.

these are the ones i love.

we had a wonderful time re-connecting

in the mountains of colorado.

the quaint town of breckenridge hosted us all for a week.

surrounded by trees and mountains i found my inner peterson.

late-night talks, yoga classes, and alpine slides are

among the best memories from the week.

of-course all of the cousins had a

glorious time with one another...

even if they were unsure at times.

Cousins '09 from Sarisker on Vimeo.

i sure miss my peterson family.

my birthday wish

i've always loved being an august baby.

i enjoy the summers.

i love the anticipation of fall

that late august brings

and i love having a birthday.

this year my one wish was to go

camping in the red rocks of sedona.

we had never been and i was eager beat the

heat and expand my love of arizona.

we found a pretty camp site among the trees and mountains.

it even had a pretty little river running through it.

(this a big deal for me coming from the dry,

drought-cursed valley-of-the-sun)

the girls had a great time

(save jill and her non-fear of bugs that

landed her with the first bee sting of her life)

 jeff cooked us some yummy tin-foil dinners.

it was so yummy that we had about twenty or so

unexpected visitors.

(note the visitor under the table)

the next morning we went to slide-rock canyon.

birthday wish fulfilled.

back in the day

i had some friends.

a few of us thought we could ditch the kiddos

for two nights and be friends again.

only this time as mature, well-dressed adults.

ROAD-TRIP.

across the amazing Hoover dam

which is soon to be Hoover bridge, and into Big-horned Sheep territory.

(check out that big 'ol alpha male behind the tree)
we had a great time in vegas.
the three of us.
lounging by the pool,eating at cool restaurants, and even meeting up with the class pres.
friends from back in the day are the coolest of friends.

(events took place in july)